Schrodinger's Cat

with apologies to Practical Possum and Andrew Lloyd Webber

The physicist Erwin Schrodinger postulated a thought experiment in which a cat in a closed box might be alive or dead – but neither reality would exist until observed. So the cat might be considered to be in two parallel universes - alive in one, dead in the other. Not schizophrenic but polyphrenic.

I was a fading ginger cat
I was lifeless, slack and fat,
My ginger faded, dull and flat
Till I heard of Schrodinger's Cat

If Schrodinger's right, I think it means
That life's more fun at both extremes
And pussy pursues without intention
Lives in parallel dimensions

Now I'm only one monophrenic cat
Halfway done monophrenic cat
Ain't much fun, monophrenic cat
Still only one monophrenic cat

So is it pathetic fallacy
To want polyphrenic ecstasy?
For I would never say, “Oh, drat it!”
If to my life eight more were added

7-8-9 polyphrenic cats
Multifeline polyphrenic cats
Feeling so fine polyphrenic cats
7-8-9 polyphrenic cats

How I could rewrite my text!
Another figure, face, and sex!
Don't you agree 'twould be so neat?
One cool me – and eight more in heat

Would it be less than high aesthetic
To playful pray to be so kinesthetic?
So please, Cat God, if it's no trouble
My tabbylated life to double!

View Joe Wrobel recording this poem